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Age 10

So they want to be an Influencer…

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It’s true, ten-year-olds aren’t supposed to be on social media. They aren’t supposed to leave cereal bowls under their beds either. And yet, here we are. 

Yes, your kid may still — for now — be outside the grips of Snapchat, TikTok, and Insta, but the YouTube celebs have got their attention, and there are probably a few things to consider.

When LEGO polled kids between 5 and 12 about their career aspirations, vlogger/YouTuber beat out teacher, musician, athlete and astronaut. Social media’s having an impact on your child’s life, and it’s a good time to talk about what that really means. 

Start Here

Did you ever ask your parents for sugar cereal after hearing it was magically delicious? How many X-ray glasses and/or shrivelled sea monkeys did you have by age 8? Kids are easy to sell to, and now they get sold to irl and in the metaverse. It’s natural, then, that your kids may be connecting more stuff with a happier life. That’s worth deconstructing – why do we need money? Is money for stuff? Experiences? Security? 

And, what happens if you buy a lot of stuff? Do you, say, run out of money?

Get This

Rihanna sued her accountants in the 2010’s after almost going bankrupt from overspending. The defendant responded by saying, “was it really necessary to tell her that if you spend money on things, you end up with the things and not the money?” Sure, it seems obvious that spending more money leaves you with less of it. But, if you leave money out of the discussion at home, you may find your kid learning money lessons the hard way. 

Keep Going

With full-grown adults giving into the allure (and the embedded ads) of fancy living and frictionless buying on social media, it can be hard for your perfect child to know how to make the right moves. Take some time to talk through online protocols. No snap purchases. Suggest they run all posts by you. Help them understand, really understand, that whatever they put up on social may follow them around For Life, and can affect everything from job prospects to earning potential. (Even if they grow up to be a TikTok celeb…)

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Age 9

How to value… value.

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A Charles Schwab survey in 2019 revealed that when it comes to feeling personally wealthy, 72% of people say it isn’t about a dollar amount, it’s about the way you live your life. 

Start Here.

Let’s get real. Social media is edging its way into your kid’s life, and it will try hard to convince them that happiness is somewhere beyond them. Now’s a great time to start casually defining what a rich life might look like. What kinds of experiences are important to your nine-year-old? What would they like their life to look like in 10, even 15 years? Setting tangible goals makes it easier to prioritize when it comes to money. Forgoing something now feels less painful, if you know it’s for the sake of something you’ll care more about later. Goal setting in general leads to more consistent levels of success.

It’s a good time to start thinking about value. Ask your nine-year-old about what they value most in their life right now. Do your best not to judge the answers. We hear a lot of “bacon”, so… 

As they circle round their answers — family, pets, friends, trips, home, the environment, their Xbox, bacon — chat about how many of the items on their list actually cost money.  

Get This. 

The great takeaway for your nine-year-old is that money doesn’t always equal value. Choosing a job you love over one that pays more, for example, might connect value with your values. And the tradeoff of a lower salary for work you care about, or a healthier life balance, may not feel like a tradeoff at all. Money is a tool, not an end point, and if you can instil this in your nine-year-old, those are powerful words to live by. 

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Teens

If I Had a Million Dollars…

Could I Even Afford the Things in this Song?
Wealthie investigates.

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Let’s get right to it. A million dollars doesn’t buy what it used to. Or does it? We look at the lyrics and break down the numbers to see how this Classic BNL hit has aged.

A House

$790,000

The average cost of a Canadian home in 2021 takes up almost the full million smackers. That’s about five times higher than it was in 2000 ($163,951) and more than double the 2019 average ($339,030). 

A nice chesterfield*

$2199

The Sven couch by the Canadian design company, Article, gets a great review in Architectural Digest. Here’s to buying local!

*Or an ottoman

$529

The matching ottoman goes for $529

A K-Car

$16,368

The Chrysler vehicle (and all around “nice Reliant automobile”) made history as the cheapest car in the compact class. Even adjusted to today’s dollars it’s pretty affordable.

A tree fort

$400

The US national average for building a treehouse is $7000, but you can get that cost down with a little DIY.

A little, tiny fridge

$178

The Frigidaire Retro Mini looks like a reasonable size for a tree fort.

Pre-wrapped sausages

$7.65

That’s for the Johnsonville Original Breakfast Sausage. (Just a thought, but aren’t all sausages technically “pre-wrapped”?)

A fur coat (but not a real fur coat)

$99.90

This snazzy faux fur from Zara is neither prohibitively expensive or creature cruel.

An exotic pet, like a llama

$900

This is for an untrained, untamed llama, which frankly sounds like a bit of a nightmare (but slightly more affordable than the alternative—an emu chick runs for around $1000).

John Merrick’s remains

Priceless

John Merrick, aka The Elephant Man, died in 1890 at the age of 27, suffering from a condition called Proteus syndrome. In 1987, the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, offered to buy this particularly significant bag of bones for $1,000,000. He was turned down by the London Hospital Medical College, which said that a sale would be “quite wrong on ethical grounds”.

A limousine

$85

Sure, it’s indulgent (and not great for the environment) to take a limo to the store. But, can you put a price on grocery storage space and legroom?! (Yes, actually, you can!)

Kraft Dinner

$1.34

One box of KD, no butter, no milk.

Expensive ketchup

$4.97

In the song they wonder why there is no Grey Poupon (or fancy) version of ketchup, which is a question that has been pondered by some of the great intellects of our time. Turns out Heinz has a solid grip on the market.

A green dress

$149

Obviously there’s a wide range here. The world’s most expensive dress is a red chiffon number by a Malaysian designer worth $30 million. (Now that’s cruel)

Some art… a Picasso (or a Garfunkel)

Variable

The cheapest work by one of history’s most celebrated artists will run you around $120,000. Which is cheaper than Art Garfunkel’s booking fee (apparently around $350,000). 

A monkey

Variable

The cost of Justin Bieber’s pet Capuchin was about $6,000 (not including the $10K in fees he had to pay when trying to illegally transport it across the border).

Total: $1,936,392.86*

*This figure includes the million dollars towards John Merrick’s remains. Assuming the medical powers that be adhere to their ethical stance, we leave out the million, and the new tally becomes a manageable $936,392.86. This leaves a balance/contingency of $63607.14 to buy “your/their love” — or to boost the house bid, since that may be necessary in this seller’s market.